If fathers were allowed to raise kids without any input from mothers, the world as we know it would cease to exist.
Children everywhere would be running around with dirty faces and clothes that are not only two sizes too small, but do not match, either. Underwear would be worn until it was held together by nothing but molecules, and in winter, socks would be viewed as an optional accessory.
Haircuts would have no style, and be a short as possible, regardless of gender.
Rickets would make a huge comeback, because it is a misconception that four bowls of ice cream daily will suffice for the recommended requirement of dairy servings.
Scurvy would reappear, as well, because orange soda does not, in fact, contain anything resembling an orange, except for the flavor.
At birth, boys would be outfitted with a BB gun, pocketknife, and the keys to a rusty, vintage-model vehicle needing some engine work. Girls would be measured for a chastity belt and given a lecture on the dangers of boys who drive rusty, vintage-model vehicles.
Bike ramps would be higher, skateboards more aerodynamic, and go-carts or dune buggies would be the common mode of transportation.
Every kid would have a tree house in the backyard, and the structure would be in the “good” branches thirty or forty feet up, complete with dangling, homemade rope ladders.
The silverware companies would go bankrupt, and the stocks of the paper-plate companies would skyrocket. Tablecloths, doilies and slipcovers would be burned in a huge ceremonial bonfire.
Kitchen counters would be littered with the carcasses of captured, dead insects and stacks of permission slips no one ever signed. Every sink would contain a scorched pan that, although may have been purchased with a non-stick coating, met its match with an iron spatula, and will eventually be thrown away rather than scrubbed.
Phone calls will be as brief and monosyllabic as possible, with an imposed six-sentence maximum.
No light will remain on at any time, in any room, and the thermostat will be kept at a level just above freezing.